Marquis America brings you an excerpt from Mistress Butterfly, currently in development, by T.Q Swann, the Kardynyl SynysTyr. Enjoy this topical passage and feel free to comment!

We’re going to go outside the “comfort zones” of the play parties and social gatherings this week, ana small effort to bring the “heady” back down a little closer to “reality.” There is always an emotional let-down at the end of any number of these events: once the dance lights are packed away, the plastic drink cups are crushed and tossed into the refuse bins, and the last perfectly-dressed fetish dolly has managed to teeter her way home, somehow, in her 8″ stiletto heeled boots (and not managing to snap an ankle, I might add).

And the reminiscing and return to the “real world’ begins. People begin to network with each other, clinging fiercely to their self-imposed honorifics and titles – and strangely seeming out of sorts when not immediately recognized, or immediately respected, by a fellow reveller that had met scant hours before. In my estimation, the illusion of entitlement was dispelled said evening came to a close. Some, however, seem to think it appropriate to carry their artificial titles forward and with them throughout the next – and truly following – light of days. Some of you, I am quite certain, are going to take serious umbrage with my dissertation below: but I welcome the challenge to learn alternative thoughts all the same!

I have a very hard time believing that someone who is between the ages of eighteen and twenty-five could seriously refer to themselves as Master or Mistress. It is amazing, and alarming, how often people seem to assume that a self-imposed crown should bestow upon them instant respect from their peers. Even when people across the European Continent were trying to reach out to each other in the first fledgling modern alternative communities, the simple titles Dom and Domina were designations that had to be earned by deed and proficiency. I have no issues with Dominants asking to be referred to as Sir and Miss/Ma’am/Madam/Madame as an immediate sign of respect. Even the somewhat more modern terms Lord and Lady, pretentious as they may be, can be adopted by those within a community whom have shown leadership and educational abilities. The designation of ‘Master’ and ‘Mistress’, though, I will forever hold the conviction that those over-used pretentious prefixes must be earned, through experience, deed and accomplishment, and not merely appropriated – even though the criteria for earning that respect admittedly has drastically changed over the decades.

In truth, the connotation of the titles ‘Master’ and ‘Mistress’ also tend to indicate wealth, privilege and ownership. The obvious and negative association with the word ‘Master’ harkins to times when human beings actually bought, sold, owned and worked other human beings as nothing more than property – no different in mindset, for those times, than buying a horse. Naturally, the trade and institution of human slavery effectively ended with the end of the American Civil War in 1865: and yet the honorifics of the time have been somewhat modified, sanitized and been deemed as acceptable usage among those who venture into the SM realm.

In keeping with that thought, it is an extreme pretense to mantle one’s self as a ‘Master’ or ‘Mistress’ if said individual really has no resources to undertake the complete care of a man or woman they have indentured. It just makes common sense: if you’re blessed enough to be able to actually have the finances to completely control every aspect of a consenting ‘slave’s’ life, then by definition perhaps the titles are appropriate. The truth is, however, that the vast majority of SM practitioners simply cannot afford to support and sustain another human being in such a manner, though there are some counted amongst the financial fortunate who can, and do. It has always been my contention that unless you can afford to actually keep someone in a state of consensual servitude for twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week (and thereby by default could be considered a ‘Master’ or ‘Mistress’), then those who insist on claiming the title had at least best be very well liked within their own community, perhaps even considered a leader within that community, and most definitely respected by all of their peers.

Speaking of pretentiousness and taking the appellation debate one ludicrous step further, I firmly believe women who refer to themselves as “Goddess This” or “Goddess That” should really do something about their obvious inferiority complex. Strangely, you never see a man advertise himself as “The God This” or “The God That”. If it’s blasphemous for a man to refer to himself as a God (not to mention precipitously tempting fate), then why in the mass accessibility of our New Age can’t certain women realize that to refer to themselves as a Goddess is equally as blasphemous? Does the Greek myth of Cassiopeia happen to come to mind?

For that matter, how can there possibly be so many “Princesses” out there? What country are these “Princesses” from? Which Old World Royalty are they fortunate enough to be born into? It becomes especially insufferable when you discover the living conditions of some of these eidolon autocrats. It is hard to reconcile a “Princess” living in anything other than a castle – and most assuredly not a grim mobile home in some backwoods kingdom. In some cultures, impersonating Royalty is a crime and taken very seriously. How is it that you take someone seriously when they insist on being referred to as “Princess” and their “palace” may consist of one bedroom, a kitchen, a living room and maybe – just maybe – a linen closet in some inner city apartment block? Sure, the illusion of Royalty is romantic to most of us: but cold, hard fact has a way of dousing our romanticism with the cold waters of cynicism.

If you’re a “Goddess” or a “Princess” the moment you stop behaving like a “Goddess” or a “Princess” you have lost all your credibility. These women should stop setting themselves up on so high a pedestal, because as the saying goes, that can only lead to a single inevitability: a very long, hard and unpleasant fall from casuistic grace.

There is one more designation that simply must be mentioned, because it is a word that has become part of the sadomasochistic vernacular and has gained wide acceptance. Thanks to the burgeoning amount of would-be dominatrices who seem to believe everything they ever need to know about being an “expert” sensual dominant can be obtained via the World Wide Web, the word Domme has mysteriously and almost universally replaced the words Dominatrix or Domina as an acceptable adjective. It is a nice word, and the only problem with it – is that is really isn’t a word at all. For whatever reason, during the latter part of the 1990’s, someone with an empowered sense of feminist ideals took great offense to the word Domina and decided that another adjective was needed that was less feminine, and somehow conveyed equality to Dominant men.

This word, “Domme”, was put to good use by the rougher lesbian dominants (“butch”) and, naturally, once the word started to appear on personal web sites, it was quickly adopted as the standard adjective to describe all women of a dominant nature. To the purists, though, trying to gain equality by changing definitions to suit your own agenda tends to indicate a state of inferiority existed in the first place. There are many examples of non-existent words in use today, and in fairness it must be pointed out that until 1902 the word ‘aeroplane’ didn’t exist, either. The times do change and as a byproduct of technology terminology changes as well. However, it is one thing to adopt a new term for something that heretofore didn’t exist in our natural world: it is quite another to just “make one up” when the current, correct title or term doesn’t happen to suit your own haughty and narcissistic ego.

The simple truth is, no matter how people choose to identify and/or categorize themselves, men and women both should chose their honorifics carefully, and be prepared for contempt and derision should they fail to live up to their own artificially-induced expectations. Titles of respect are earned, remember, not merely assumed or expected.