It used to be, not all that long ago, that trying to purchase good resource books directly related to bondage, discipline and all things sadomasochistic was very nearly impossible. Unless you “knew a guy”, had some other kind of “connection”, or were fortunate enough to live in a large enough city where so-called underground publications were considered somewhat plentiful, in the days prior to Amazon trying to find reference materials relating to our lovely lifestyle could prove to be immensely problematic – and even potentially embarrassing. “Those kind” of books were usually only available at Adult shops (colloquially still referred to in some circles as “Adult Book Stores”) – and depending on what US state or Canadian province you lived in, tended to be made at hand to those who desired them only through an awkward and stammering specific under-the-counter request for product.

Thankfully, for those of us who revere our chosen alternative life expressions, the advent of the Internet has made it very easy to get our hands on virtually anything (within legality) we want. That has proven to be both an absolute blessing, by and large, and an abject curse in certain circles. For instance, in relation to the “curse”, some so-called expert materials have been published in the past whose content was either too dry and clinical, or nauseatingly ego centric (and we’ve all read those books, I’m quite sure) to be really only of value as a visible potential conversation piece on a bookshelf in someone’s dungeon or playroom.

For every Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns (which in the opinion of several fetishists and SM practitioners, Your Humble Narrator included, is one of the worst books related to BDSM ever foisted on us), there seemed to be at least a dozen more similar volumes that were considered only marginally better. In the past, folks used to purchase SM-related books, I suspect, mostly to make a very visible pseudo-credibility statement to their peers. Many of these really, really bad books were purchased by really good people – and I know for certain most of them were never even read, let alone had their spines cracked. As time has gone on, we’ve been far more fortunate: the demand for good, solid, experienced reference material hasn’t died at all – it has, it seems, only escalated – and the quality of materials available to us has also thankfully increased. Part of that may very well be a simple matter of numbers, as more and more books over the past decade have found their way onto more mainstream bookstore shelves.

One of those exceptional books – in my opinion an absolute “must have” for every serious BDSM enthusiast – is How to Be Kinky: A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM by noted Canadian lifestyle educator Lord Morpheous. Do yourselves a favour and buy this book. It won’t just sit and look impressive sitting on your bookshelf: you’ll actually learn a thing or two, and you won’t be able to simply put it down.

What separates this book from similar works? To start with, it’s damned fun to read. I don’t want to give anything away, really – but as an example, early on in the book there is a very well-written narrative, relating an early experience, of Lord Morpheous and his efforts to try and explain to his parents why his dishwasher was filled with sex toys after he’d had a gathering while they were away. Drawing on the anecdotes and vast experiences of his friends and colleagues throughout the book, Lord Morpheous has ingeniously managed to capture the true essence of sadomasochism (it’s grand fun, damnit!) all the while providing witty and expert advice along the way. It’s a clever format: the reader expects or assumes the book to be, perhaps, another somewhat vapid and plodding “connect the dots of BDSM” instruction manual, but in fact its structured very much like a collection of topical (and extremely entertaining) short stories about people and their gut-wrenchingly and often gut-bustingly honest experiences. Naturally, if you happen to learn a thing or two along the way – and you will – that’s an appreciated bonus. Lord Morpheous is regarded as one of the very best rope bondage artists and educators within our realm today, but How to Be Kinky is so very much more than a mere ‘bondage manual’. There is a taste of fetishes from “A” to “Z” within its pages: there’s is sure to be something that everyone can relate to. Other “how to” books have tended to generally disregard entire legions of particular kinks (Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns for instance contains virtually nothing but a somewhat contemptuous and dismissive reference to cross-dressing), but Lord Morpheous has adeptly managed to give respect and creedence to (almost) every fashion of popular fetishy sensual expression – and he’s managed to do it in a concise but wildly amusing manner.

It’s a brilliant, effective and natural way to introduce anyone (with even so much as a passing interest in kink) to all the positive aspects of what it is we love to do. That makes this book unique – and truly a “must have” for excited newcomer and experienced hard player alike. The novice will learn, in their own vernacular and at their own “level” because the anecdotes are all written in a way to be so appealling and interesting, and the experienced will just love the collection of stories. In short, Lord Morpheous has managed to author the much-desired and nearly impossible-to-reproduce “win-win” scenario; the happy balance in which his efforts truly will appeal to anyone and everyone, from the rookie to the seasoned veteran.

It’s a formula that has found much success in other genres: more specifically, in sports books and even more specifically, in baseball books. I do not know if Lord Morpheous is much of a sports fan: but the man knows how to write, edit and convey tales so well, that I am confident in saying if he wanted to write the definitive work on playing water polo, it would be the world’s best and more informative seller on that topic in history.

Personally, I’d much prefer to wait for his sure-to-follow “Volume Two” efforts on How to Be Kinky. I’m sure Lord Morpheous could explain it perfectly – but I’d rather read about his experiences and lessons in BDSM than just how the hell those water polo guys manage to get snorkels and masks on their damned horses.