Come with Uncle, and hear all proper!  Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited!” ~ Alex DeLarge

Many films, since the advent of the artform as a pure entertainment medium in the very early stages of the 20th Century, have risen to the status of  cultural icon. Rarely, however, has the original literary source been afforded the same reverence and iconographic status as an accompanying film version.

Naturally, the tangible visual aspects of said films invariably give rise to entire communities of enthusiasts, and the costumery and accompanying “garage made” accessories never fail to illicit “oohs” and “ahhs” when unveiled at any number of Science Fiction, Fantasy, Comic Book – or even Fetish – events.

In 1962, an English linguist and extremely prolific playwright and author by the name of Anthony Burgess (born John Burgess Wilson, 1917 – 1993) penned what has come to be known as one of the truly great and landmark novels of the 20th Century. The book was A Clockwork Orange, and no tome yet adapted for the screen has created both such a devout following and illicited such a raging controversy over the past half-century. Clearly a full decade before the epic 1972 film version of the same name (starring the irrepressible Malcolm MacDowell in the unforgettable role of the violence-addicted, Beethoven-loving, soon-to-be-forcefully reformed teenage hoodlum Alex DeLarge), contingents of head-to-toe white dressed and suspender wearing, combat-booted and bowler-hatted “Droogies” started infiltrating the London and Manchester pubs and nightclubs. Some of the devotees even sported the “Droogs” trademark athletic supporters (“cod pieces”) - worn on the outside of their stark-white trousers – while enjoying a pint or twelve in their favorite shlagas (“clubs”). When the Stanley Kubrick film eventually made its way to global cinema screens (and not without generating an immense amount of controversy revolving around  its original “X” rating due to a rather horrific and terribly graphic home invasion scene), the stark and strangely alluring aesthetic of the anti-hero’s chosen trappings became a continuously ingrained staple at costume and fetish events – and continue to be so, nearly four decades later.

Curiously, Anthony Burgess himself absolutely despised the film version and denounced it, and its director, bitterly and derisively right up until his death. He was so filled with rancor that A Clockwork Orange was the one work in which his name would be forever associated with that towards the end of his life, he was even claiming the book itself was “one of his lesser works”. This is an astounding statement: Burgess, as a linguist, had managed with absolute brilliance not only to craft an entirely new language (which he called Nadsat) but also was able to write the book in such a way that the reader could not help but learn the new terms – nouns, adjectives and verbs – as they read along. A Clockwork Orange is not only a superbly crafted modern fable (“Time and age are the true prime movers of eventual maturity”), it is a fantastic teaching device: what better way to have to learn how a language is constructed and utilized than by being completely immersed in it – and all the while enjoying the exceptionally concise and thought-provoking storyline that accompanies it?

Despite the original author’s protestations to the contrary, A Clockwork Orange, both as an original book and landmark film, have never failed to grasp the imagination of many a costume and fetish aficiando. Women have even started to highly sensualize the usually-drab pure “whiteness” of the costume – and couples out for an evening of revelry cannot help but to look striking (no pun intended, of course) in their matching bowler hat, black boots, “cod piece” and walking cane ensembles. Fashion and fetish models alike have taken the “look” to an even higher artform – and the internet has seen rise to some of the most visually stunning and admirable practitioners of “High Droog Fashion”. There have even been “Clockwork Theme Wedding Albums” recently populating numerous European and North American-based web sites. While it is obviously easier to put together a groom’s attire for such a momentous occasion, trying to come up with an appropriately-themed wedding dress and make-up ensemble can be a very difficult challenge indeed – but that challenge has been met and matched with some incredibly inventive, appropriate and true to the aesthetic and yet undeniably elegant and classic (in their own way) bridal gowns and trains. All things considered, very high praise for an author who wrote the original manuscript decades before most of these Clockwork Acolytes were even born, and even higher praise for a visual design from a 1972 film that continues to be one of the most rented, revered and reviewed in our video rental outlets.

Some writers (including Your Humble Narrator himself) have even ratcheted up and kept alive the artform of the original Nadsat language that was purely invented by Anthony Burgess. In fact, it has come to this writer’s attention over the past few weeks that I have managed to ruffle a few feathers within the various fetish communities with my oh-so-opinionated rantings and ramblings. Thus, remaining true to the spirit of our dear old Droog Alex LeFarge I give to those of you amongst the chellovecks my sincere and heartfelt apologies – but in pure Nadsat form. You should be able to catch the meaning and gist of the language – but should you need assistance, I will direct you to a handy Nadsat resource tool, the  Nadsat Dictionary:

Upon the Trodding on of Subtle Sensitivities

Your Humble Narrator and Untrue Friend hath had an Epiphany of sorts, O My Droogies …

O, we can govoreet and kvitch kvitch crark to Bog and all his horned angels in regards to the massy-nations that doth transpire within the bolny, bezoomny mozg of Old Syn, that starry old veck himself! Combine thy rassodooks all the good long day, my lovely damas and moodges – Verily, thy shalt not ever pony the messels and reasons that doth make Old Syn tick-tick-tick like a fagged, ancient clock!

Your Old Droog hath come to his senses, O My Lovelies! The basiliskies have fallen from the glazzies – and true that which he now viddies with bolshy great clarity.

Thy Synical and truly spatchka-deprived Humble Narrator is responsible, like, for some vred and boo-hoo-hooing towards other Droogies within said Community. Appy polly loggies need to skazzed, like, to some of those lewdies – even though it doth razdraz mine guttiwuts to do so! No thump-thump-thumping of mine own sweet groody, now – my slovos are iron-wrought with sincerity …

Thus, let it be so: No false skorry and sladky sorrows and regrets, I swears on my late pee and em! I had this messel, that being a tiny thought like, that certain chellovecks did mean to do me harm – and O My Lovely Baboochkas and Deds, Your dorogy but malenky-bit bezoomny Syn could not have been more mistaken! All this dratsing and playing of eegras clearly domnyed within mine own grahzny merzky gulliver – there was no existence of true malfeasance truly to be found, O My Malchickiwicks! How lovely! How horrowshow for the likes of thee and thine, O Droogies! And yet, how oozhassny for me! I want to platch and platch and platch until old Bog himself takes mercy, like, on me!

Humblest appy polly loggies, then, O My Bratties and Bratchkas! I hast done thee collectively a great disservice with thine vreddy, krovvy and hateful slovos! Please forgive me, like – and Your Humble Narrator shall do what he can to never trod in anger-like upon the dobby sensitivities or aim to soil thy neezhnies and platties with mine own vile sputtum, never again!

Your Humble Narrator did say try, yet thou allst doth know me … So in expectation, like, of the bitvas to come, I say to thee that dost not choose to believe mine own sweet intent …

Bolshy great yarblockos to thee and thine!

Kardynyl SynysTyr